


Boutonnière

by Valkrist (Anouk_Tyrell)



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Feelings, Kissing, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love, Weddings, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27474946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anouk_Tyrell/pseuds/Valkrist
Summary: Barney hadn’t expected Tommy to show this sweet side of him to all the people around, but apparently love could do this to people, apparently Grace could do this to Tommy. A lovely woman, one Tommy had easily fallen in love with: Ambitious, handsome, tender. Barney could already imagine other people envying Tommy for this luck he had with her, his business partners surely wanting the same when she accompanied him to a meeting or a party.Maybe it was a miracle that Barney hadn’t expected it, being too aware of what feelings could make people do from his own experience and seeing how much Grace meant to Tommy. She was beautiful, without a doubt, probably exactly what Tommy needed and deserved. Setting up a separate family could do no harm, it would only be right to support him at this important point in his life, being the best friend he needed.
Relationships: Grace Burgess/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Barney Thompson
Kudos: 5





	Boutonnière

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my friends!
> 
> After talking to flysafepapi (thanks, btw <3) and realizing that "Marry Me"by Thomas Rhett would be perfect for a Tommy/Barney fic, I simply had to write this. Adjusted the lyrics so that some pronouns and words fit the context a little bit better, wrote the stuff in between, and yeah, here it is ...
> 
> Enjoy!

_He wants to get married, he wants it perfect_

_He wants his long-time friend preaching the service_

_Yeah, he wants magnolias out in the country_

_Not too many people, save his auntie some money_

Barney hadn’t expected Tommy to show this sweet side of him to all the people around, but apparently love could do this to people, apparently _Grace_ could do this to Tommy. A lovely woman, one Tommy had easily fallen in love with: Ambitious, handsome, tender. Barney could already imagine other people envying Tommy for this luck he had with her, his business partners surely wanting the same when she accompanied him to a meeting or a party.

Maybe it was a miracle that Barney hadn’t expected it, being too aware of what feelings could make people do from his own experience and seeing how much Grace meant to Tommy. She was beautiful, without a doubt, probably exactly what Tommy needed and deserved. Setting up a separate family could do no harm, it would only be right to support him at this important point in his life, being the best friend he needed.

_Ooh, he got it all planned out_

_Yeah, I can see it all right now_

Tommy had been so happy while talking about his plans, asking Barney for his opinion on tiniest details. Rooms, decoration, plates and flowers, it was only the beginning. He wanted the perfect music, most beautiful dance and loveliest suit - and Jeremiah preaching, of course. Even if Grace did terribly much for this wedding, maybe Tommy was the real bridezilla. It was his wish for perfection that made him do it, the wish that somehow had made Barney fall in love with him, too.

It wasn’t that hard to help him, having been friends for enough years to know what Tommy wanted better than the man himself. Barney knew that Tommy would prefer the dark blue suit on his important day, being happy that he hadn’t chosen the black one afterwards. He would look astonishing in it, the most handsome groom the world had ever seen, a sight for sore eyes. Barney didn’t know if thinking about it was somehow masochistic, but he definitely wanted to have a photo from this day to look at on darker days.

_I remember the night when I almost kissed him_

_Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever_

Maybe it was a lie, saying that they had _almost_ done it. Maybe Barney just didn’t want to admit that this might be a reason why the pain was even more intense, why seeing Tommy was that sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. He would never say it aloud, giving Tommy the chance to forget about it - if he hadn’t done it already. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering how much love their was in his glances as he locked eyes with Grace.

They could always blame it on the alcohol, it wasn’t a problem, or just present it as an unimportant experiment other people didn’t need to know about. But Barney couldn’t deny that it had felt good, this one evening, Tommy’s face so close before Barney had tilted his head, letting Tommy catch his lips with his own. Barney had pushed them open, Tommy returning the movements, tongues playing. A bittersweet memory, holding on to this kiss before they had to breathe again. They both hadn’t stopped smiling then, and for a second Barney had even dared hoping that this could be the beginning of something new, a next level of their relationship. But shit, hadn’t he been wrong? Sometimes kisses and intertwined hands simply weren’t meant to be important.

_And I always wondered if he felt the same way_

_When I got the invite, I knew it was too late_

It had been hard for Barney to hold back his tears when he got the letter, knowing what the elegant, rosy envelope meant even before he opened it. The paper reminded him of papyrus, black and golden letters looking way too perfect. But the message hurt, it fucking hurt. _Thomas Michael Shelby and Grace Helen Burgess invite you to share in the joy when they exchange marriage vows and begin their new life._ Now it was official, too late to do anything - and a part of Barney just wanted Tommy to be happy, wishing him all the best. He had chosen a woman, she had even said yes, and now they would both wear gorgeous rings connecting them.

Barney caught himself thinking about giving Jessie a booty call as he stood under the shower, spray of hot water on his hair and shoulders, leaning a hand against the wall. She would be better than his own hand traveling down further, fingers sliding between his legs, curling around his shaft. But he couldn’t do this to her and himself, could he? Such a decision could make him feel bad in the morning, using a good friend that way, maybe he should just put on a funny movie and fall asleep in front of the telly. It would be easier than not knowing whether it was right to imagine certain things now or not, and it would just require a funny DVD and a soft blanket.

Maybe he should talk to Jessie about it in a normal way, not having to keep this secret in such a terrible way anymore? But would she understand, be nice enough and not push him and say that Tommy needed to know? He couldn’t guarantee that, could even imagine a scenario in which she decides to do it herself, fighting for feelings in the blunt way she was capable of. No, laughing and falling asleep sounded better, definitely.

_And I know aunty‘s been dreading this day_

_Oh, but she don't know she ain't the only one giving him away_

Polly had talked about Tommy settling down often enough already, just waiting for this one lovely girl who’d make him do it, come to peace, in a way. A lovely wife, wonderful children and a beautiful house to live in, this was how she imagined it - and now they would come a step closer to it. Maybe Polly would even cry tears of happiness, a thing that had probably never happened before, but she wouldn’t be the only one feeling that way.

Barney was fully aware of what it meant. Tommy wouldn’t spend that much time with him anymore, Grace consuming most of it now. There would be so many things to do, love to sink into, passionate nights and places to travel to on holidays. An own house with enough space for their whole own family yet to be started - and he himself would end up coming and seeing them, becoming someone like _Uncle Barney_ or so for the kids.

_Bet he got on his suit now, welcoming the guests now_

_I could try to find him, get it off of my chest now_

_But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish him the best now_

He couldn’t be an asshole and confuse him now, could he? Wouldn’t be right to say the words, smoking to calm down and looking through the window seemed to be a better solution. He could see Tommy greeting all the people arriving, neater than ever, dark blue suit perfectly tailored, a cute, little flower on his lapel and handkerchief in his breast pocket. Barney wanted to let his fingers over it, leaning in for one last kiss before he would give Tommy away, but he couldn’t to this, only thinking of it as a lovely fantasy. He was a good friend, right now it was all about Tommy.

Barney already had the words in mind, how he could confess his feelings before it was too late. But he would just go there now, congratulate, be the best man Tommy needed and deserved. Not _Tommy, I love you_ , but _I’m so happy for you_ and _here’s to love and friendship._ Tommy didn’t have to know that maybe there was more love than he thought and less friendship, but did it matter now?

“You look good!“ - “You too.“

He hadn’t been that honest for such a long time now, but it was worth it, seeing this smile on Tommy’s lips. The right complement, even made him stop adjusting his suit jacket. It was a thing of tension, and Barney was happy that he could still break it, calming Tommy down. Even if it wouldn’t be the same anymore, maybe at least some tiny details would never change.

_So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back_

_Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask_

_I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees_

He didn’t need Tommy to see this, to know how weak he actually was. Tommy had always said that he strong, a wonderful friend to have, but would he keep saying it if he saw how miserable Barney was? How he had to drink - Tommy’s favorite whiskey, what an irony - to be brave enough to go there, to face him on this important day? Barney would’ve been ashamed of himself if it weren’t for the alcohol, pictures in his mind making it all worse and worse.

He could picture it clearly, Tommy wrapping his hands around Grace’s waist, his lips at her neck, moving down to her breasts, hot and wet kisses marking his way. It was achingly sweet yet gut-wrenching, an up and down thing, the images slowly blurring into something else, till Barney could imagine himself instead of her, sinking down on Tommy. Could feel hands on his back, a ghostly touch, lips searching his own, soft strands of hair between his fingers - and Barney’s suit jacket Tommy had liked that much laying on the floor, long forgotten. _Only you, Barney, only you._

Barney had nearly decided not to come, after all, pretending that he was sick and didn’t know if he would feel better the next day. Had broken his heart, hearing how sad Tommy was when he told him - his voice always gave away his emotions when they talked to each other - the _get well soon_ making it even worse _._ And maybe he was sick, in a way, sick of pretending that he enjoyed being Tommy’s best man and didn’t want to trade places with Grace. But he wouldn’t cry, just for Tommy, he would honestly wish the two of them luck - and he would become the best friend he wanted to be.

_Yeah, he wanna get married_

_Yeah, he gonna get married_

_But he ain't gonna marry me_

_Whoa, he ain't gonna marry me, no_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this didn't break your heart too much? If yes, sorry, you aren't the only ones feeling the pain <3 (yes, I'm trying to smile while I'm writing this)
> 
> Tumblr: @valkrist


End file.
